innocence...
this innocence.. this brilliance...
please don't take it away...
i believe there is a reason...
why things happen the way they happen, why some things change...and why somethings don't.
today, i wish to send out my plea...
my...
this is me justifying myself...
why i am who i am...
and the making of me...
Once before...heh...seems like such a long time ago...
i had a friend... first...second standard maybe...
the same year she got a place in my heart, she left town, never to be heard of again.
she was my luck, and now, her memory is my misery.
after her...
i have met no one i could call a true friend, no one who would...or even could understand me..and like me for who i was...
worse than lost, i still roam around with "friends" forcing a jaw aching smile upon my face...terrified of not smilling.
my family... to say in one word is distorted. well, as far as i believe, its been a broken puzzle piece... no one was willing to fix..
and forever i remember it that way..
childish mistakes from the past haunting me on lonely nights...when i am too afraid to sleep.
i love my parents, and my brother. and they love me. thats what we need for a family to function... i know its not true, but i tend to make up things... and they stay in my head for long enough, the thoughts tend to become..extremely close to reality.
my innocence was stolen from me at a young age. i don't know what i did wrong, or even where i made that mistake, but all i know is, one day... i just woke up..feeling like me.
i never meant to hurt anyone.. and i don't mean to even now. but still i have hurt people.
time for confessions, i am a pervert, i am a bitch, and i am a completely crazy.
but that doesn't mean i hurt people for the sake of it.
i wish i could loose the true friends i have found here...
but some things...can never be undone..
my friends, are my life, and they will be the death of me.
apologies, and condolences.
i never meant to do the things i did, but if you don't forgive me...
the world will still spin, and the rain will still fall.
i didn't wish to be the way i am. i just am. and this is my justification. laugh if you want to...its me...and its my life.
don't think i am that far from reaching six feet under.
I'll still pray though...

Comments
all i can say is........... wish I could articualte my feelings like u do...
SPELL BOUND!!